Choices (3)

Things To Avoid When Making Choices

As we have been considering in the last few weeks, our choices are powerful so it is important for us to consistently make the right choices and also avoid making the wrong ones. This week, I present some factors that could influence us to make wrong choices:

·         Uncontrolled emotions: It is well recognized that we are usually more vulnerable to making wrong choices when we are experiencing deep emotional upheavals whether positive or negative. For instance, when people are heart broken or sad and even when they are extremely happy, they become more prone to making poor choices. So avoid

·         Some physical conditions also make us more vulnerable to making wrong choices: Hunger, anger, loneliness and tiredness are the most common physical conditions that usually influence people negatively. Esau made a wrong choice when he was overwhelmed by hunger (Genesis 25: 29-34). As we saw last week, Simeon and Levi were influenced by anger (Genesis 49:5-7).

·         Pressure from others or peers: External pressure from others through bad advice or bad influence could lead us into making wrong choices. We have a good example in the life of Amnon (2 Samuel 13). Amnon was one of David’s sons who became attracted to his half-sister Tamar. Following the bad advice of his friend, Jonadab, he implemented a devious scheme to ensure he raped Tamar. Jonadab’s advice led to Amnon’s wrong choice and eventually not only incestuous rape but also fratricide as Tamar’s brother, Absalom killed Amnon 2 years later. It is in recognition of the power that our association with people have that Scriptures warn us repeatedly:

“The one who walks with the wise will become wise,

But a companion of fools will suffer harm.”

Proverbs 13:20 HCSB

“Do not be deceived: ‘Bad company corrupts good morals’”

1^st Corinthians 15:33 HCSB

Some other times the pressure may not even be personally directed toward us. I mean there may be no one in particular giving a bad advice like in Amnon’s case. There could be what is termed a “herd mentality or mob mentality effect” in which people are influenced by their peers to adopt certain behaviours. Generally, there is a natural desire in us to want to "belong", to "feel among" our peers. And this sometimes makes us make the wrong choices. The people of Israel demanded for a King because they noticed that this was the system of governance operating in other nations around them (1^st Samuel 8:5). We must however remember that we do not have to make choices based on what everyone else is doing. The popular choice is not always the right choice.

·         Impatience/hastiness: Many times people make choices without proper deliberation or consideration. In our haste or impatience we rush into wrong decisions, making wrong choices that we then regret later.

“He that is slow to wrath is of great understanding: but he that is hasty of spirit exalteth folly”

Proverbs 14:29 KJV

“Also, that the soul be without knowledge, it is not good; and he that hasteth with his feet sinneth”

Proverbs 19:2 KJV

Hastiness is sometimes a manifestation of lack of faith in God: “…he that believeth shall not make haste” (Isaiah 28:16b). We need to learn to avoid the influence of haste or impatience when making choices.

·         The trap of instant or immediate gratification: This is the desire to experience pleasure or fulfilment without any delay. It is linked with impatience and uncontrolled emotions or urges. Esau is another example of this common human experience. He gave up his birth right just to satiate his hunger (Hebrews 12:16 & 17). Many people still make wrong food choices in this same trap of instant gratification. Non-communicable diseases and health conditions like Obesity, Diabetes, Heart Disease and some liver diseases are on the increase and even worsened by our food choices. Yet, despite warnings or instructions from Medical Professionals many of us still make wrong choices because of the trap of instant gratification. 
      Another area in which people commonly fall into this trap of instant gratification is in sexual temptations. I remember being approached in the elevator of the hotel a couple of years ago on the last night of a short trip to Cape Town by a self-styled "Pleasure Consultant". She attempted to lure me to make a wrong choice by playing the instant gratification card. Many men and women are led to believe that their sexual desires must be fulfilled without any delay and this leads them to make a catalogue of wrong choices.

·         Substance use: This refers to consumption or use of alcohol or drugs like nicotine, methamphetamine, morphine, etc. This is one of the most dangerous things to ever gain control over people's ability to make the right choices. In the story of Lot (Genesis 19:30-38), we read about how he became the father of his daughter’s sons under the influence of alcohol. In our contemporary society, substance use is increasing at an alarming rate. Many young men and women are engaging in substance use in much larger quantities than before. These substances have the ability to influence people to a much higher degree, perhaps thousands of times in intensity than natural emotions. They could cause disorientation as well as abnormal physical and psychological responses thereby influencing people make wrong choices (Proverbs 20:1, Proverbs 23:29-35).

All these cloud our minds from focusing on God and impede us from exercising our volition with clarity so it is wise to avoid them when making our choices.

To be continued…